Indonesian Girls Guide: Ultimate Dating Advice (2022 Update)

Many men from all over the world have visited the beautiful country of Indonesia and it is no secret that a good number of them fall in love with the most precious treasure in the island nation – the lovely Indonesian woman.

Getting to know Indonesian girls becomes easier when we know about their country and culture and especially the dating culture here.

This will help you approach them with confidence and get into relationships with girls that you might even consider out of your league.

And today we’re sharing all the secrets about Indonesian women, as well as tell you what it’s like to date a lady from Indonesia.

Wonderfully Diverse

Guide to dating Indonesian women

Indonesia is a melting pot of cultures with influences coming from all over Asia, the Far East, and the Middle East. This has resulted into a diverse culture that is uniquely their own.

Mainly of Javanese ethnicity, the Indonesian people have a shared identity which is perfectly painted in their motto “Bhinneka Tunggal Ika” which means “Unity in Diversity” literally translated as “many, yet one.”

A visit to this Southeast Asian country means who gets to chose from any of their 17,000 islands, as they are the world’s largest island country.

From the bustling capital of Jakarta to the beguiling island of Bali, you will surely find a multitude of activities and adventures. The most captivating part of Indonesia is its culture.

Dating Indonesian girls may prove to be difficult in a culturally conservative country. Let’s get a feel of the Indonesian dating scene so you can determine the best ways to approach the Indonesian girl of your dreams!

To Date or Not to Date?

If you do your online research, you will notice that most articles will focus on Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran (Indonesia without dating) which is a resurgence among younger generations in the country that discourages dating.

First of all, do not misconstrue this as the prevalent practice. While the tradition of matchmaking and arranged marriages do exist, many Indonesian men and women still do engage actively in dating. You will find them mostly in the bigger cities and resort areas of the country.

While a certain number of women do adopt the non-dating scene, make no mistake, there are still a lot of beautiful Indonesian women who are open to meeting men from other countries.

If you need extra help in making sure you hit all the right buttons, check out this guide. Created by a woman who’s a guru in the dating industry, it will tell you all the secrets you need to know to instantly charm any girl in Indonesia!

It’s a lot easier when you know exactly what to do – so at least check it out, you’ve got nothing to lose!

Online dating is seen as one of the best solutions for Indonesian girls who are seeking to find fruitful relationships with foreigners.

Through the internet, they can engage in a deeper relationship without having to physically be out and about with their man until they are sure that they want to meet the guy in person.

The most popular website here – and the best one to find an Indonesian girl looking for a date and a genuine relationship is this one. Just check it out and you won’t be disappointed!

There are many areas in the country open to dating. Indonesian girls are open to meeting men who will allow them to blossom as many live in very patriarchal families.

If you are able to make them comfortable around you, they will forget about all inhibitions and offer you an amazing time! Guaranteed!

Indonesia girls guide

Honesty and sincerity are key values that they look for, as you will find that one inherent trait of Indonesians is that they don’t want to be socially shamed. Once you get to date her, chances are, she is intent on being serious in a relationship.

If this sounds good, you can check out our list of the recommended dating sites & apps in Indonesia.

Characteristics of Indonesian Women

We all know that girls in Indonesia are extremely beautiful. But what about their personalities?

This is what we’re going to talk about next, to better understand Indonesian women and learn how to approach them to be more successful when looking for a date.

Quashing the Stereotypes

Let’s do away with the typecasting! Many might say that an Indonesian woman will take advantage of a foreign man calling them gold diggers. Remember, these types of women exist in most cultures.

Do not be prejudiced since there many gorgeous Indonesian women who are decent and financially independent seeking real relationships. Ladies that weren’t as fortunate won’t automatically be interested in a person just for the money!

During our adventures in the country, as well as online, most of the girls we met were just your regular person, looking to have a good time and meet new people.

We’re still friends with most of the women we met there, no matter how far we got in our relationship.

Loving Nature

You might find your Indonesian beauty a bit reserved at the first meeting. Some even mistake it for being cold. This is just that first barrier since they are raised to be well-behaved and modest.

Once you go past that, you will be surprised at how nurturing and passionate they can be as partners. They will really do everything they can think of to keep you happy and satisfied – both outdoors and inside the bedroom!

You need to make them trust you – and let them understand that you are really there for them and not just for a night – and they will turn into the best experience you have ever had in your life!

Let’s be Clear about Politeness!

Indonesian women are raised to be polite to the point of being ambiguous and tend to beat around the bush.

Being frank and direct may be construed as rude so they hesitate to voice out their opinions and wants at the start.

You will have to get used to this and learn to read between the lines. They won’t be able to directly say no in some cases and refuse you, but you shouldn’t take advantage of this. It won’t work too often.

Loyalty Counts

You will find Indonesian women faithful once you captured their hearts. Relationships are considered valuable to them and the mark of good upbringing is not playing around with men.

Of course, they expect the same in return. So don’t think that you can have multiple girlfriends or relationships and have your women accept it.

Do Indonesian Girls Speak Good English?

Indonesia Woman Dating Guide

Even if formal education in Indonesia is taught in the lingua France of Bahasa Indonesia, English is widely spoken in the country as it is also taught as part of the curriculum.

While many speak good English, you might encounter barriers when it comes to expressing words with deeper meanings.

Be careful in using words with double meanings, idioms, or sarcasm as it might be easily misinterpreted.

Keep your English as simple and straightforward until you can adequately gauge her grasp of the language.

This is also the best opportunity to learn words in Bahasa Indonesia which can be useful for daily living.

Remember also that if your Indonesian girl comes from a particular ethnicity, she may speak one of the 725 active languages and dialects that are spoken there!

You can then start making your relationship not only romantic but engage in a fun language-exchange activity. This is all for making communication clearer and your relationship stronger. The ability to speak the local language will also endear you to them faster.

Indonesian Women: The Looks

The Indonesian charm comes from a genetic mix of Chinese and Malay cultures. Their skin tone ranges from a lovely caramel to lighter tones.

Indonesian girls are mostly petite, but don’t let their small stature make you think they have little to offer!

The Indonesian beauty has beautiful almond-shaped eyes and slim figures. As being hardworking is an inherent Indonesian trait, it follows that their women are fit and healthy.

You will seldom find overweight ladies. They take care of themselves and rarely wear heavy makeup.

In fact, you will find them fresh-faced and natural most of the time. This and good genes make for the Indonesian women aging very well.

The norm in this predominantly Islamic country is decent dressing but you will find many Indonesian girls donning more sexy outfits in more appropriate venues like parties, the beach, and private functions.

You find many in their traditional clothes. Religion often plays a part in how they dress. Despite the tropical climate, women are more modestly dressed here than in other Asian countries.

But this is part of their charm, I would say. You do get that feeling that the special goodies that she doesn’t show the world with ease are yours and yours alone to enjoy. Extra points for this!

Indonesian girls traditional dressing

Dating an Indonesian Girl: Important Tips

The dating culture in Indonesia is pretty different from your regular dating experience in the West. So check out these tips below to make sure you always end up impressing your Indonesian date!

Be a Gentleman

A man is expected to shoulder the expenses of the first date – and every date for that matter!

You must learn to treat her gently and respect her traditions. Depending on her religion, get to know the different boundaries that are practiced and don’t try to get overboard – at least not too fast!

Be a gentleman and treat her with respect. Open doors, let her enter first in a room and be extremely polite. This will always score you extra points.

Appropriate Places

Remember that your Indonesian girl will have to go home to her family at the end of the date.

Make sure you take her to appropriate dating places like restaurants and cafes, perhaps a movie or a nice outing.

Never invite her to share a room as this is not acceptable in their culture. You’ll get there, though and I promise that it’s worth the wait! But don’t rush things.

Girls in Indonesia don’t really trust foreigners, as most of them come there only to have fun.

While it’s nothing wrong with that and you will even find girls interested in this type of activity alone, those looking for a more long-term relationship and commitment won’t give in so easily.

Special Privileges

In Indonesia, the closer you are to a person, the more that person can request for special privileges.

In the case of your Indonesian partner, she might ask you for a special gift or outing.

By all means, accommodate her if you are serious and if it is within your capacity. She will view it as a confirmation of her standing in your life.

Tardy Party

Don’t be surprised if your date arrives at least thirty minutes late! Indonesians take life at a slower and more relaxed perspective. Plan accordingly while waiting for her!

Practice Restraint

Indonesian woman 2022

Unlike most Western cultures, the Indonesian girl is more conservative, so take it slow and easy. Public displays of attention are not that common.

Even if you have gotten to know each other well online, it pays to ask her first if you can do something. That way you will avoid embarrassing her in public or in front of family and friends.

Thrice Refused

This is always popularly known as the “Three No Rule” that is practiced not only in dating but generally in Indonesia as a way of life.

When you are offered something by your girl and you refuse, expect that she will bring it up again. The first no is, by no means, a final refusal for Indonesians. She will most likely, ask you two more times.

When you refuse for the third time, then it is a fixed rejection of whatever it is you brought up. The same goes for vice-versa. Ask her more than once – ask her three times to be exact – to get your final decision if it is a “yes” or “no”!

Unusual Greetings and Replies

You will find yourself being constantly asked by Indonesians “Where are you going?” and “What are you doing?” – these are actually conversation starters and if you may, normal ways to greet people they meet.

Normally, you would need to answer them with more questions. You might find it annoying but it is one quirk that you will have to get used to. Learn the art of how to answer them while you’re at it!

Family is Important

Most single Indonesian women, regardless of age, will be living with their families. This is part of the culture of this patriarchal society where pre-marital sex is frowned upon and living together before marriage is also not practiced.

Things are starting to change here and you will surely find some more open minded girls and families, but don’t expect too much in this area. Do expect them to be very curious, though and they will find ways to bend the rules. Maybe even break them!

But I wouldn’t expect them to be as open minded as girls from Thailand or the Philippines women, for example.

As you have grown in your relationship with an Indonesian girl, you will be invited to family events. Be sure to ask your girl pointers on how to dress and act as older family members might have some cultural sensitivities that you need to be aware of.

Go the Extra Mile

Indonesian girls are indeed a hidden treasure among the Southeast Asian beauties.

They are often overlooked, simply because there are fewer things written about these more reserved and family-centered women. They are a delight to be with, simple in their ways, and close to nature.


This ultimate guide to Indonesian girls and women strives to bring you closer to the lady of your dreams through deeper insight and understanding of their culture, ways and habits.

This article hopes to guide you to that genuine connection comes with sincerity of intention, tolerance of our differences, and acceptance of each other.

If you have had experiences dating Indonesian women, don’t hesitate to share them with us all in the comments section below.

Check some of our content covering the SEA Region:

Best Dating Sites and Apps in the Philippines: check our list of the best sites and apps for anyone looking to date a Filipina Girl.

Best Dating Sites and Apps in Thailand: check our list of the best websites and mobile apps for anyone looking to date Thai girls.

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